


Heaven Dust

by wewillalwaysenduphere



Series: The Hamilton Challenge: The Other 51 [9]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - RENT, Drug Addiction, Drug Dealer Aaron Burr, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 20:44:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17169077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wewillalwaysenduphere/pseuds/wewillalwaysenduphere
Summary: A modern imagination of Hamilton & Burr, inspired by the musical RENT.The music is loud – too loud – the lights in the club are merging the dancing people into one huge, moving mass, and the smell of alcohol and sweat is inescapable. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of clubs in New York just like this one, some a little nicer, many of them just as cheap and seedy as this one.But this club, this night, is the first time Alexander Hamilton meets Aaron Burr. It’s unspectacular, at least for the onlookers.Alex only speaks to him for a moment, before they exchange money for a little bag of blow. In that moment, though, when Alex looks into Aaron’s eyes for the first time, something changes. Something that Aaron can feel, as well. But their story is not a fairy tale. There is no ball, no prince. So their first meeting is Alex buying drugs from Aaron, and as much as Alex likes Aaron’s eyes – they’re not the only reason he keeps coming back.





	Heaven Dust

**Author's Note:**

> As posted on tumblr.
> 
> Enjoy!

_The music is loud – too loud – the lights in the club are merging the dancing people into one huge, moving mass, and the smell of alcohol and sweat is inescapable. The floor is sticky and dirty from spilled drinks and everything the visitors dragged in that night. It’s hot, the air tastes stale and used up. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of clubs in New York just like this one, some a little nicer, many of them just as cheap and seedy as this one._

_But this club, this night, is the first time Alexander Hamilton meets Aaron Burr. It’s unspectacular, at least for the onlookers. Alexander is a young man, more of a boy, really, in a hoodie two sizes too big, baggy jeans and dirty sneakers, Aaron is only a year older, looking a little less shabby in dark jeans, a blue shirt and leather jacket, leaning against the wall of the club, a little outside of the dancing masses._

_Alex only speaks to him for a moment, before they exchange money for a little bag of blow. In that moment, though, when Alex looks into Aaron’s eyes for the first time, something changes. Something that Aaron can feel, as well. But their story is not a fairy tale. There is no ball, no prince. So their first meeting is Alex buying drugs from Aaron, and as much as Alex likes Aaron’s eyes – they’re not the only reason he keeps coming back._

 

* * *

 

 

Aaron had his spots, knew when he should be where, and the people who bought from him knew them. Occasionally, Jefferson sent some muscle if the situation on the street seemed tense (not because he worried about Aaron, of course, but because he worried about the product) but for the most part, he was alone. Aaron liked the quiet that came with it. For some time, his thoughts had mostly been filled with regret, with self-loathing, with ideas of where he could be if he hadn’t ended up here. But those became fewer and fewer with every day, and there was always a white, powdery distraction at hand, if he needed it.

He was dealing at Jefferson’s club that evening. It was called Club Image, but the Image was supposed to be pronounced like it was in French. No one ever did it when they were on their own, but no one would dare not do it when Jefferson was around. Although it was always stuffed with people and rather loud, it was also a relaxed spot to work. Jefferson had a lounge right above the club so there were always some of his bouncers around, and if any junkie tried to steal from Aaron, he’d have someone there to help.

There was someone headed his way that looked like he knew what he was looking for. Young – maybe even younger than Aaron – in clothing far too big for him. But his hair was long and beautiful, and his grin seemed confident.

“Are you Aaron Burr?”, he asked, leaning against the wall just like Aaron did, trying to appear as if he’d done this a hundred times before. It didn’t quite hit the mark.

“Depends, who’s asking?”

“I’m a friend of Jeff.”

Aaron nodded, he knew Jeff. The guy was too young to be a cop, anyway.

“Alright, sixty bucks per gram.”

The guy swallowed but pulled out a wallet and handed some crumbled bills to Aaron. In turn, he received one of the small packages Aaron was carrying. Unlike most other people, this guy lingered for a moment. It was strange, the way he was looking at Aaron, as if he was searching for something he had been expecting to find.

Aaron raised an eyebrow. “What is it? Anything else you want?”

“Thinking about buying you a drink,” the guy said, and it wasn’t the first time this had happened to Aaron, but because he was so young, and kind of pretty, and absolutely non-threatening, Aaron just laughed. The guy looked a little insulted.

“Well, maybe another time,” he said, before leaving for good. Aaron almost felt bad. If he hadn’t been working and Jefferson wouldn’t have his bouncers around to watch him work, he might have even said yes.

“Yeah, maybe,” he whispered, more to himself than to the stranger.

It was only a couple days later when he saw him again.

“By the way, I’m Alex.” This time, he introduced himself by way of greeting, and Aaron smiled at him. That seemed to surprise Alex for a moment, but then he reacted to it with an even wider smile of his own. They exchanged money and product without talking this time, but before he left, Alex asked Aaron again if he wanted a drink.

“Maybe another time,” Aaron said, loud enough for Alex to hear this time, and the other grinned and winked at him.

Alex quickly became one of his regulars, and Aaron liked him. He was polite, funny, and never tried to negotiate about price or convince him to let him pay tomorrow or any of those shenanigans. Sometimes, Alexander left him by saying “Bye, beautiful” and a wink, and Aaron would have never admitted it, but he liked the nick name. Alex would always use some corny line to flirt with him, the real old stuff like “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” or “I lost my phone number, can I have yours?” It was always said jokingly, and never with real intent, so Aaron never felt uncomfortable around Alex. After a few weeks, whenever they met, Alexander greeted him with a hug he used to slip him the money, and most of the time, Aaron used it to slip Alex the product, as well. He always counted the money after, but he did trust Alex enough to let him come this close.

There wasn’t much of a story to it, but one of those evenings, after Aaron had decided it was time to abandon his station for the night, he went into the sea of bodies and found Alex. Put a hand on his shoulder and asked with his eyes a question that could never be heard over the music. Alexander smiled, turned towards him and put his hands on Aaron’s waist. He smiled back and they danced for a while, until Aaron was sure all those flirty lines hadn’t been just for fun, until Alex had realized Aaron wasn’t gonna leave after one song, until Alex was pressed against him and Aaron had his hands buried in those dark curls. Until they’d kissed long enough for Aaron to know he wanted more. He pulled Alex a little closer, mouth hovering over his ear, asking, “Come home with me.”

And Alex, eloquent and witty and funny, just nodded.

Aaron’s flat was just one room, a tiny bathroom and no kitchen, but Alex didn’t mind. Their clothing marked the way to the old queen-sized bed Aaron had, and the squeaking frame was something neither commented on. They slept wrapped around each other, and when Aaron woke up, it was to the sound of Alex’s teeth chattering.

“Morning,” he yawned, not quite awake just yet.

“Dude, it’s cold as fuck in here. I tried turning on the heating-“

“Doesn’t work, didn’t pay the bill this month,” Aaron explained, blinking his eyes open. With Alex next to him, it wasn’t half as cold as it usually was.

“Ah, I see.” Somehow, the words sounded judgmental to Aaron.

“You’re free to go back to your studio apartment in Manhattan any time now,” he gave back, a little sharp.

“Na, I don’t…sorry, didn’t mean to offend you, man. I’m not judging. I’m looking for an apartment right now, myself.”

So he was homeless. Well, Aaron had been there, might get back to it any day now. Being seventeen and renting an apartment was a real struggle, even though he had the money. But his landlord made him pay more for renting it out without proper contact, and he had to pay weekly.

“You mind if I take a shower?”

Aaron shook his head. “No, that’s fine. But you’re gonna have to use my towel.”

Alex laughed. “Yeah, that won’t be a problem.”

Aaron watched him disappear into the bathroom before putting on his own clothes and counting the money from yesterday, counting the little plastic bags he still had left. Tomorrow he’d have to meet Jefferson’s man, bring him the money, get a new load. He got out his ledger and marked the numbers down, did some calculations with the costs for rent, food, and heating. It was either heating or food, and he knew which one he needed more.

A shriek from the bathroom made it clear Alex had just discovered that no heating also meant no hot water. Aaron chuckled to himself for a moment before going back to the problem at hand. He needed more money, and he highly doubted asking Jefferson nicely would get him that. But he had the coke. If he cut it just a little…

Aaron was still thinking about how he could do it in the least suspicious way when Alex came back out of the bathroom, starting to collect his clothing which was strewn all over the apartment.

“You only buy from me every couple days,” he mused.

“Yeah,” Alex answered, stepping into his too wide jeans, “what about it?”

“Does that mean you’re not using regularly or are you cutting it?”

Alex turned around this time, completely dressed, looking at Aaron, the money before him, the cocaine, and smiled.

“You thinking about making a couple extra bucks?”

Aaron shrugged. He shouldn’t have been that obvious, but someone with experience would be nice. What he knew for sure was that the cocaine he got from Jefferson was about 75% pure. That made it one of the better products in the city. If Aaron wasn’t too greedy, and only added a little…he wasn’t planning on getting rich, after all. He just wanted a hot shower at the end of the day.

Alex came over, sitting down next to him.

“I’m using it way too often, but I usually use laxatives or caffeine to make it last longer. Caffeine is the better option in my opinion, because even if you use a lot of it it kinda helps with the kick and doesn’t lessen the effect that much. You know?”

Aaron could imagine. He nodded.

“You can buy it as powder, too. It’s really easy. I can show you if you wanna?”

Aaron’s first instinct was to decline. He had no reason to trust this man. At the same time, looking at Alex in his helplessly oversized clothes (only now realizing they were probably stolen from a laundromat) he couldn’t help but wonder why he would even offer.

“What do you want from me?”

“Just a place to stay for a few days. I missed sleeping in a bed.”

Alex looked down when he said the last words, and Aaron couldn’t help but feel his heart break for him. He knew what that felt like. He’d been there.

“How old are you?”

Alex’s answer came way too quick. “Nineteen.”

Aaron laughed and shook his head. “Try again. And if you wanna live here, I wanna see your ID.”

Alex hesitated this time, before pulling out his wallet and handed Aaron his ID. Aaron carefully looked it over.

“You’re sixteen.”

Alex shrugged. “Sixteen and nine months. As if you’re so much older.”

“Seventeen,” Aaron admitted, and Alex was suddenly back to his previous flirty, cocky behavior.

“As I said: not that much older than me.”

Aaron nodded. He liked this version of Alex better: He seemed less fragile, less vulnerable.

“Okay, so how are we gonna do this?”

Alex reached for his walled and his ID, and Aaron handed it back to him.

“I’ll go grab my stuff and be back in here in about two hours. I’ll get the caffeine powder and then we can get to work.”

Alex kept his word, and the whole process was easy enough. Afterwards, Aaron went to his usual Saturday spot, and Alex told him he had a job as a barback somewhere so he’d probably be out for most of the night. They exchanged numbers and agreed to stay in contact. In the end, Aaron was home earlier, and had already showered and gotten ready for bed when Alex arrived. He’d brought Chinese take out for them both, and Aaron’s stomach rumbled before he could say that it wouldn’t have been necessary.

“You really didn’t need to,” he started, but Alex just shook his head.

“Come on, it’s the least I can do. Not like you couldn’t have looked up what you asked me online.”

Aaron figured that was true enough, and although he felt a certain responsibility for Alex, he had none. It wasn’t his job to take care of the guy – he couldn’t, even if he wanted to. And it smelled delicious.

“Okay, then let’s eat.”

They sat on the floor, and Aaron enjoyed the hot noodles and chicken while Alex chattered away about how the barkeep today had been a total ass and how he’d barely gotten anything from the tips – he had another barkeep, called Josh, who was much more generous with him – while Aaron just nodded and ate. When he was done, and Alex had barely managed to get in a couple of bites in between, Aaron cleared his throat and pointed at Alex’s meal.

“Maybe you should talk a little less and eat a little more? It’s better when it’s hot.”

Alex blushed a little, before nodding and focusing on his food. When they went to bed that night, Alex immediately cuddled up to Aaron, who was about to tell him he wasn’t in the mood, but Alex seemed to anticipate that.

“Just huddling for warmth, ya know? It gets cold in here in the night.”

That was most certainly true, so Aaron just wrapped an arm around him and allowed it. When Aaron woke up, Alex was wrapped around him like an octopus, his hair tickling Aaron’s neck, and he needed a whole minute to untangle himself. Goddammit, Alex was clingy. Literally. It wasn’t even that cold in here in Aaron’s opinion. He got up, got dressed, and had a look at what he had there for breakfast – just some cereals and milk, but it should do for today. Maybe, he and Alex could establish some plan on who would get what…and maybe Alex could even pay some of the rent. Because Aaron wasn’t so sure he really only wanted to stay two days, and they got along well, so if Alex wanted to stay and helped pay for the flat, he would be fine with that. He’d bring it up when he was sure that Alex was someone he could stand living with for longer.

Alex looked happy there was breakfast there – “Ah, thanks Aaron, that’s nice. Haven’t had breakfast for a week or something, I never think about getting anything the evening before.” – and sat down next to Aaron to eat.

For the next few days, that was their rhythm – Aaron made sure they had breakfast, Alex brought back take-out for dinner, and they texted to make sure Alex wouldn’t stand in front of the closed door one day. Jefferson had no idea Aaron was cutting his coke, and none of his clients seemed to realize the quality had changed – or they didn’t say anything, at least.

On Wednesday, when Alex was sliding into bed, he cuddled up to Aaron as usual, but wrapped an arm around him and kissed his neck in a way that was decidedly not huddling for warmth.

“Do you mind?” His voice was quite and careful. “We never talked about that night, but I wouldn’t mind a repeat.”

Aaron turned around to him, pushed his hair back to look into his face and grinned, before leaning into a kiss. Alex was beautiful and that was hard to ignore, but apparently, he didn’t have to. His old bed creaked when they fucked, but the neighbors didn’t mind – they had no right to, given how often they were fighting loud enough for Aaron to hear.

Afterwards, Alex laid his head on Aaron’s chest, pressed a few kisses to his skin before putting his own clothes back on.

“It’s not that cold,” Aaron said once again, but Alex shook his head. He didn’t look at him when he replied.

“I didn’t grow up here. I’m from the Caribbean. I’m used to warm weather, and our winters are never like the ones you have here.”

It was the most he’d shared about his backstory, and since Aaron wasn’t exactly eager on explaining why he himself was in this situation, he didn’t think it would be proper to ask Alex about it. Instead, he simply held up the thin blanket and allowed Alex to slip back under it. Maybe this was a good time to ask Alex about splitting the rent?

“By the way, since we’re getting along fine and I’d love some hot water-“

“God, me too,” Alex interrupted with a little sigh, and Aaron chuckled before going on.

“I was thinking we could split the rent? I don’t have a real contract anyway, but it would help and we could get hot water?”

Alex was quiet for a moment, thinking. Aaron could only guess what was going through his mind – but then Alex nodded and agreed.

“Yeah, sounds like a good idea. Let’s do the calculations tomorrow morning though, alright?”

“Yeah, sure.”

For some time, their little arrangement worked quite well. Aaron still sold Alex coke, and was using himself, but they never addressed that. Sometimes, they got high together at the end of the day. They focused instead on which barkeep was sharing how much of his tips with Alex, (they never talked about Aaron’s job, not really), what they would have for breakfast or dinner and once they had hot water, took more than one shower together, not entirely for the sake of saving water.

But as it was in both their lives, nothing good ever lasted long. It was a regular Saturday with Aaron reporting back to Jefferson when he realized something was off. There were more bodyguards than usual, and Jefferson was especially pissed off. He was sitting on his red leather couch in the lounge above Club Image where Aaron was supposed to meet him, the interior design looking more like a Manhattan loft than a seedy Brooklyn club. He was yelling at the girl bringing him a drink, his looks could kill, and James Madison wasn’t around. Madison was usually like a dampener for Jefferson’s violent moods, and him being missing made Aaron slightly worried. Still, for the most part, he was convinced that it wasn’t him Jefferson was being so upset about – because he was really not important enough. Aaron brought back the money, and normally, Jefferson didn’t personally count it. Hell, most of the time Aaron didn’t even get to deal with Jefferson directly. He was worlds from being high enough up the food chain to warrant Jefferson’s interest.

After he was done counting, he looked at Aaron like a teacher about to reprimand his least favorite pupil.

“Aaron, is it?”

Aaron nodded. Kept himself from balling his hands into fists, forced himself to breathe normally. Jefferson’s eyes were sharp enough to dissect him, like an insect beneath a microscope.

“Some of my guys tell me they suspect you might be cutting the coke. So I sent someone to buy from you and bring it back to me. I tested it. And I fear my guys have been right.”

Aaron didn’t know what to say – he was too afraid to say anything. Too afraid to even deny the accusation. The last time he had been this afraid was when Timothy Edwards had told him he’d get the beating of his life time – he’d nursed his bruises from that for weeks. But Jefferson wasn’t just his violent, homophobic uncle. Jefferson was running drugs, and now he was getting up and walking towards Aaron. When he came to stand, it was close enough Aaron could smell his aftershave. He leaned forwards, way too close for Aaron’s comfort, and whispered into his ear.

“I don’t like when people steal from me.”

The slap in the face that followed made Aaron stumble to the side, the sound of it echoing through the luxuriously furnished apartment.

“Get back here,” Jefferson snarled, and Aaron straightened up as quick as he could, coming to stand in front of Jefferson again. As much as he wanted to cover his burning cheek with one hand, he forced himself to let his hands hang by his side. Tried to appear as calm as he could, but the terror in his eyes must be showing, because Jefferson looked smugger than ever before.

“Oh, look at you. Not the first time someone did that, hm? Was it your daddy? Your boyfriend?”

Aaron swallowed, anger wallowing up inside, but he knew he might very well be dead if he spoke up now. Jefferson’s bodyguards were holding machine guns, and it would only take one bullet… _don’t,_ he thought to himself, _don’t go down that road. Think about Alex bringing pizza home for dinner tonight._

Jefferson reached for Aaron’s face, grabbing it tight and forcing him to look up at him.

“That was a question, you little piece of shit.”

“My uncle,” Aaron said, voice shaking. He was ashamed of himself, he wished he could stand up for himself – but he was only seventeen. And he wanted to live.

That’s when Jefferson pulled out a gun, switched the safety off and pushed Aaron to his knees – he was barely holding himself upright as it was, it didn’t take much for him to go down – and held it to his head. Aaron could feel the cold steel against his forehead and felt the sudden urge to pray. But whatever god was up there had never given a shit about him before, and he doubted he would start now.

Jefferson laughed.

“Look at that. Look at him shake, down on his knees. Maybe you should have thought about wanting to live before you stole from me, hm? Maybe vermin like you just can’t help itself.”

Aaron told himself to close his eyes, to just let it happen – at least it would be painless, at least it would be quick – but he couldn’t close his eyes, and as scared as he was, as terrifying as Jefferson was, as much as he wanted to simply disappear, as hard as the words were – he needed to say something. Even if it was just begging.

“Please…”

Aaron’s voice was barely audible and shaking, but Jefferson hesitated. His smile was cruel and joyful, and Aaron knew this wasn’t over yet.

“Oh, you’re gonna beg for your life? At least do it properly, then.”

Aaron was quiet for a moment, not sure what exactly the man expected, but then he fired a shot that pierced the lavish rug Aaron was kneeling on right beside his leg and he started talking without a second thought, his heart beating so quickly it felt like a little bird desperately trying to escape its cage.

“Please, oh god _please_ let me live, I’ll do _everything_ you want, I’ll pay you back everything I saved by cutting the coke, I still have all the money it’s at my flat you can have it all – _please_ , **please** , just don’t shoot me!”

Aaron’s vision was blurry from the tears streaming out of his eyes, but he held Jefferson’s gaze, almost sure that if he looked away for just a moment he might get shot after all. And Jefferson looked at him, a crying boy, kneeling at his feet and he laughed. As if nothing funnier had ever happened to him. He switched the safety of his gun back on, let it drop to the floor and Aaron allowed himself a deep breath, but then Jefferson’s boot connected with his ribs and he fell over, unable to pull in any air for a moment. It was terrifying. It felt like suffocating.

“Fine, I’ll let you life. But I have to set an example, _Aaron_.”

The beating wasn’t that much worse than what Aaron was used from his uncle, and he couldn’t quite shake the thought that his uncle beating him and a drug lord beating him shouldn’t be on the same level, but they were. He felt the hits to his soft stomach, the kicks to his groin, the slaps to his face, but he retreated into that inner place he always went when this happened, and everything became pleasantly numb. When Jefferson pulled him up in the end and said something about his bodyguards bringing him home and taking what he owed Jefferson, he just nodded. When the body guards dragged him to their car, he spit out blood twice, hoping he’d be able to keep all his teeth. He managed to give them his address and hoped Alex wasn’t home, but his hands were shaking too much to message him.

Luckily, when they arrived, the flat was empty. Aaron showed them where he kept the money, and they laughed and took it all – including the money Alex had saved up since he lived here.

“Thanks, fag,” the bigger one said when they left, and Aaron fell to all fours, ashamed of himself, glad to be alive, and hurting all over at the same time. He stripped, made it to the shower and turned on the hot water. He just sat there, crying, until the water turned cold, then ice cold, and although he was trembling, he forced himself to endure it for a few more minutes, just to prove to himself that it was his body in the end, and he was the one who decided what happened to it. Just to get back out of that scary numb place in his own mind that was so comfortable he feared that one day, he might not get out of there again.

When he finally turned off the shower, his teeth were chattering and he was shaking all over. He grabbed his blue towel – Alex had gotten himself a green one some time ago – and carefully dried himself. His nose had been bleeding, his mouth felt horrible, and one of his eyes was so swollen he could barely see through it anymore. He took a few deep breaths, but while his ribs hurt, they didn’t seem broken. Not that he could afford seeing a doctor anyway. There were bruises along his arms, his chest, his stomach, and a few on his upper thighs. But only his face was bleeding, and although he looked horrible, he knew he’d survive this.

He got out his phone and texted Alex that if he happened to walk by a store, he should bring some band aids, pain killers and disinfectant.

Then he remembered that Alex’s money got stolen as well.

_And don’t let any of my people ever see you again. They won’t be as merciful as I am._

They’d have to leave the flat. Get out of Jefferson’s territory, if possible, probably out of Brooklyn as a whole. Aaron put on his softest sweatpants and a wide hoodie, before crawling into bed, pulling the blanket over his head to sleep through some of the pain. Maybe it would all be better once he got up. His neighbors were screaming at each other again, the topic something one of them had apparently forgotten to bring from the mall. It didn’t keep Aaron from falling asleep.

He woke to Alex shaking his body and calling his name, increasing both in volume and concern with every repetition.

“Oh my god, Aaron, what happened? I got everything you wanted, do you need-“

“Painkillers first,” Aaron said, and Alex immediately got up, brought him some water and offered him the painkillers. Aaron took two, before focusing on Alex. His left eye was completely swollen shut by now, and the pain in his ribs and stomach was worse than before.

“Thanks,” he croaked, the tears threatening to fall again, but he wasn’t ready for that now. And he’d still have to tell Alex their money had been stolen…but given how Alex looked at the cookie box they’d used for their little fortune that was now lying on the floor, empty, he probably already knew.

“What happened, Aaron?”

His tone was somber, nothing accusatory in it. Aaron wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or not.

“My boss discovered I was cutting the coke. He beat me up and sent some of his guys to pick up the money I owed him. When they saw yours, they took it as well. And I’ll have to leave here. I’m thinking about going to Queens. That’s far enough away. Don’t wanna risk any of his guys shooting me.”

Alex looked at him, then he nodded.

“I’m glad you’re alive,” he said, with a sincerity that was almost jarring, like he’d expected Aaron to be dead. Hell, Aaron had expected himself to be dead the moment Jefferson had pulled that gun.

“Same,” he replied, with a tone so beaten it made Alex smile.

“Hey,” he tried to cheer Aaron up, softly cupping the side of his face that wasn’t swollen too badly, “We’ll get through this. I’m not angry about the money, if you’re worried about that. We’ll find another flat.”

For a moment, Aaron was floored. Then the words and their meaning sunk in.

“Alex, you can’t possibly not be angry…and do you really wanna give up your job here? We’re both not even eighteen yet, who knows what else we’ll get in Queens, and I don’t want you to feel like you need to do this or that you owe me-“

“But I do owe you, Aaron. You let me stay here when you had absolutely no reason to. You didn’t kick me out like I would have anyone else if I had been in your position. And let’s not kid ourselves here, you could have gotten anyone to help you cut that coke for the first time.”

Aaron still wasn’t comfortable with this level of…loyalty?

“But you can keep this flat if you can afford it.”

“You know I can’t. Barbacking doesn’t pay half as well as selling drugs. You always paid most of the rent. Just one more reason for me to go with you.”

For the first time since meeting Jefferson that day, Aaron felt something close to okay. Even though he was back on the street, without a job – at least he wasn’t alone.

Alex must have seen the change in Aaron’s face and he smiled.

“Let me disinfect that eye and the cut on your lip for you, okay?”

Aaron nodded, and Alex went off to get the disinfectant. He kneeled next to Aaron on the bed and was more careful than Aaron himself would have been, but it still burned. He’d expected that, though. Aaron smiled at Alex and thanked him.

“Anything else you need? Are your ribs okay?”

Aaron shook his head. “How did you know my ribs hurt?”

“It’s in the way you sit. Strangely upright, kinda as if sitting normal would hurt. Besides, it’s not like I’ve never gotten a good beating.”

Aaron tried to slouch a little more, but yeah, it stung. He wasn’t quite sure what to reply to Alex’s confession that he knew what Aaron felt like. Maybe it would be better to address that later.

“It does hurt. But I’m fine.”

“Can I see?”

Alex meant well, that much was obvious, but Aaron just shook his head.

“No, as I said, I’m fine.”

“Okay.”

Alex didn’t look happy, but he decided not to push it any more.

“When do you wanna leave?”

Aaron thought about it. He couldn’t be seen around here anymore, but he needed some rest and the flat was better than the street. They paid weekly, and they had paid for two more days.

“Let’s stay until our rent runs out. Then we leave.”

Alex nodded.

“I’ll try if I can get two doubles in that time, make some money before we need to leave.”

Aaron laughed at that, a strangled, bitter sound.

“Tell me again why you think I deserve you.”

Alex replied with a laugh that was probably supposed to sound haughty but sounded much bitterer then Aaron’s.

“Oh, no one _deserves_ me.” And then, much quieter, “I bring disaster to everyone I meet.”

Aaron raised his eyebrows.

“Really? Look, I can get myself in shitty situations without you.”

“If I hadn’t encouraged you that day-“

“As you said, there are plenty of other people who could have helped me cut the coke.”

“But-“

Alex tried again, but Aaron wasn’t having it.

“Listen, I ended up on the street without knowing you. I ended up a drug addict without knowing you, I ended up selling drugs without knowing you. You think you’re the only one who can fuck shit up? Please. Don’t flatter yourself.”

At that, Alex laughed. Open and honest and relieved.

“Alright, I’ll admit it: you’re a disaster, too.”

Aaron grinned, the split lip burning while he did so, but it felt good. He felt alive.

“Thanks.”

They both ended up missing that flat, staying in an abandoned house with squatters for some time, managing to get an old van they could sleep in after that. They both ended up missing the time when coke was the worst of their drug habits. If Aaron had known then how much worse it would get, he’d made sure to enjoy those first few weeks with Alex in a flat, even if it was cold. But they didn’t know how bad it would get, and as Virginia Woolf once said: The future is dark, which is the best thing the future can be.

**Author's Note:**

> I have lots of ideas where to go with this, so if anyone is interested in reading more, let me know in the comments :)  
> Looking forward to your feedback!


End file.
